Book Review: Bringing Up Bebe

By Pamela Druckerman

Druckerman's Bringing Up Bebe made a splash last winter before it had even hit the shelves at bookstores. The book stirred up controversy by promising to show American mothers just how much better French mothers do it. The book wasn't as anti-American as it was portrayed, but it was still a very entertaining read.

Druckerman's PR folks decided to pull out all the stops by casting their lot in with Amy Chua of Tiger Mother fame. Chua's advanced praise received the top spot on the back cover. (Spot two went to French Women Don't Get Fat author Mireille Guiliano.) If the two of them combined isn't enough, Chua "couldn't put Bringing up Bebe down" and "love[s] Pamela Druckerman's premise that parents of all cultures should be able to learn from one another." While true, it's laughable coming from someone whose notoriety is based on her disdain for Western mothers.

This book wasn't a how to to French parenting but a memoir of Druckerman's struggle to be a good mom and fit in with the French mothers who surrounded her.

Unsurprisingly, French babies are better eaters and sleepers than American babies. Dr. Michel Cohen, author of the New Basics and a French doctor transplanted in Tribeca, recommends that parents pause before responding to their crying newborns. He says this gives the infant a chance to self soothe and sets them up for successful sleep. In The Happiest Toddler on the Block, Dr. Harvey Karp makes the same recommendation to teach toddlers patience.

As far as eating is concerned, French infants eat four times a day by two to three months old. This schedule encourages good eating habits. As they age, French children are introduced to a world of wonderful foods, which they eat and enjoy. French mothers know they have to keep trying to get their kids to eat new foods.

I was fascinated by all the government-paid perks that French women get, incluidng perineal retraining and subsidized daycare. Thanks to that subsidized daycare, very few Parisenne women stay at home. Despite that, French women lag behind American women in some major regards including:

• a larger earnings gap between men and women,
• fewer women in the legislature and heading larger corporations, and
• French women spend 89% more time doing household work and caring for their children than men do.

According to Druckerman, an indication of rampant sexism in France is that post partum perineal retraining is often used to keep French husbands satisfied, not to help women. I do think the government benefits parents receive might help French mothers feel better about the discrepanices.

In the end, I can conclude that Chua was right, using tips from other cultures can be good for us as parents. I think that does neeed to go both ways; Western mothers aren't all overindulgent and sometimes we do say no to our children.

Do you have any thoughts on this book?

Roundup: Organizers Kids will Love (and Use!)

Keeping things organized in a visually pleasing, easy-to-understand way will help kids stay organized. Here are a few great organizing solutions for kids:

A shared boys closet from iHeart Organizing

In this closet (shared by two boys) Jen at iHeart Organizing put images on bins using her Silhouette so her littlest boy would know where things are.

Playroom lego storage from iHeart Organizing

Once again, Jen had a great idea when she used Ikea's trofast to organize her boys' legos. The boys decided to sort them by color. Jen made the labels with her Silhouette.

A well-styled and well-organized kids closet from HGTV

This closet is beautiful to look at, and I'm sure, to use. The bins at top can hold out of season clothes and hand me downs. The middle bins can hold items you use a bit more often than the clothes above it (diapers, wipes, creams, etc. would work well here). You can achieve this result by buying shelving and brackets from a home improvement store, the four-cube expedit from Ikea with the drawer inserts and bins (here and here). The bright bins on a neutral background make the closet look clean and crisp.  

Raising Organized Kids

On a chilly fall afternoon, Claire and I walked into the house. She had her coat; I had my coat and purse. As she took off her coat, I asked if she could hand it to me.

"Nooo," she said in the drawn out whining way that's mostly cute but a little annoying.

Then she did what I thought was the most amazing thing. She walked to the coat tree and tried to hang up her coat. I was equally amazed and proud.

If I had a child-sized coat tree,

I wouldn't have this problem.

Coat tree found here.

That event got me thinking about how to raise an organized kid. Obviously, modeling good behavior is a start, but it isn't enough to build a strong foundation.

• Making it easier to be organized is a good start. Claire knows she's supposed to hang up her coat, but without a hook low enough, she can't do it.
• Making rules regarding toys will limit that big mess. Limit how many toys your kids have and clean them out routinely. Only allow them to play with one thing at a time and teach them to put it away before moving on to another toy.
• Establish a good daily routine. Good sleep and a full belly will help your little one remember what to do. 
• Have your kids do routine chores that can teach them why it's good to be organized. They might also be less likely to make a mess if they know they'll have to clean it up. 
• Get kids involved with the process of organizing and organize the things they use in their own way. 

Claire's continuing to learn how to clean up and keep things organized. She has a lot to learn, but we'll work on it together.

Do you have any tips for raising organized kids?

On Wednesday I'll post some organizers kids will love to use.  

Keep it Hidden

In this post I talked about how to prepare to not let toys take over your home. Concealed storage is an ideal way to make it seem like your kids' toys haven't overrun the house. It's an easy trick that will work even if you have an animal cracker zoo under the couch.

Here you go:

DIY Storage Ottoman from Soul Style

Large ottomans provide so much function and style to a room. They can be used to prop up your feet, store toys or blankets and serve food in a tray. 

 Small & Colorful Storage Ottomans from Design*Sponge

Not only is this nursery cute and colorful, but with the help of the small storage ottomans, it's also very calm. 

Great Accent Ottomans Under a Console from House of Turquoise

I love this setup for multiple reasons: 1) the ottomans provide storage and extra seating, 2) it's out of the way  and 3) it allows parents of young kids to display items that are out of reach! I also love this color combination. It's so vibrant!

an Ikea Expedit as Window Seat from Ikea Hackers

This Ikea hack (turning an Expedit on its side) is a great use of space. It also, of course, provides great storage underneath with the woven baskets. 

Ikea Expedit with Dresser Drawers from Cape 27

This Expedit uses two dresser double drawers and two dresser single drawers to provide storage as a dresser/changing table. This would be great in the living room to hide away toys and display some pretty, child-friendly pieces. 

Ikea Billy Bookcase with Cabinet Doors from Ikea

Last but not least are the Ikea Billy Bookcases with cabinet doors. A few of these would look great as a built in with decorative pieces and books on top and kids' toys on the bottom. 

This is by no means an exhaustive list, but it provides several options (a little heavy on the ottomans I know). Do you have any other ways to conceal toys in general purpose living spaces?

Preventing Toy Seepage, Episode I: Start from the Beginning

Ah, toy seepage, the gradual--or sudden--flow of toys into your previous adult spaces. It's annoying. The best way to prevent it is to not allow your children to have toys. But that's not practical, realistic or reasonable. The best practical, realistic and reasonable way to handle it is to start from the beginning, before you bring your bundle of joy home from the hospital.

So, what are you to do to prevent this? Here's a gameplan:

• Determine the amount of space you have for toys. Be realistic. Unless you're die-hard minimalists, you'll need more than one tiny bin or shelf.  
• Try to explain your situation to loved ones when they ask what you need. Explain that you have only limited space for the baby's toys. Point them to your registry or tell them gift cards are always welcome. I shouldn't have to say this, but I will. Always be gracious when you receive a gift, even if it's too big and you explained your limitations. Afterall, God invented customer service so we can make returns. (OK. He really didn't, but sometimes good customer service seems like a gift from God.)
• Pick out concealed storage pieces that are functional and beautiful. I'll round up some of my current favorites next month.

Via
• When your little bundle of joy begins to play with her toys, pick them up as she goes and routinely clean them out.

This gameplan is a little simplistic, but you should be able to tailor it to your needs.

What toy storage strategies have you developed?

Things I Said I'd Never Do

Like most women pregnant for the first time, I knew I'd never do certain things. Like most first time moms, I've given in. One of those things I'd never do that I ended up doing was sleep training or cry it out.

I like to refer to it as sleep training; maybe that's me trying to make myself feel better or it just seems like a better explanation. Either way, after research, thought and discussion, Nick and I decided to give it a try with a few rules. We set a 20 minute crying limit, decided to only try it for a week and get her if the screaming became too horrible. 

Claire cried for just under 20 minutes the first night. I found that keeping busy really helped distract me from her crying. I finished washing the dishes and picked up the kitchen. By the time I was done, she was sleeping soundly. Over the next two nights sleep training went well, and Claire began to cry less. By night four, Claire was practically sleep trained.

Now, almost four months later, she's ready for bed by her bedtime and sleeps through the night. Starting at 8:00, I begin the countdown by telling Claire how many minutes she has until bedtime. Usually, right at 8:30 she walks up to me and puts her head down on my lap. When I ask her if she's ready to go to bed, she looks at me with the cutest, most earnest look and nods her head.

Sleep training worked for us, but it doesn't mean it will work for every kiddo, so do your research!