Last night Nick, Claire and I pulled into the parking lot of an arena for a rodeo when I realized I'd left our passes at home. I know it seems dramatic to say I was devastated, but I was. I've been trying so hard to remember everything and be the best person possible. Every time I mess up or fall short of my expectations, I'm deeply disappointed in myself.
The more I've thought about this (and trust that I've thought about it a LOT) I've realized that I've got to stop being so hard on myself. Emotionally berating myself isn't accomplishing anything, and dwelling on my mistakes takes mental energy I need to actually attempt to remember things. And there's the added anxiety tied to situations that shouldn't make me anxious because I've worried about it so much that I also need to deal with.
Creating anxiety over little things and subsequently conquering those things isn't new to me. I used to get really mad at myself if I forgot to use a $0.50 coupon until I realized IT'S FIFTY CENTS! It doesn't seem to get any easier, but I know I know I can do it.
I know I'm far from the only person who struggles to be perfect, but I still feel alone in the fight. I think it's because so many of us don't want to admit we're not perfect. But here's the thing, no one is perfect. I know it's a cliche, but it's how I get through the day. I wish I knew what everyone struggled with. It would make things so much easier.